On Mars I'd Be Worth More

Sometimes you feel introspective and wonder about yourself, you have questions, and you need them answered.

For instance, have you ever wondered how old you would be on another planet? Of course you have.

Well at this site you can find that out exactly that.




















Simply enter your birth date and this handy tool will calculate how old you'd be on the planets in our solar system, based on the length of their respective years.

Let's see, I'd be 149 years old on Mercury. So that's good, I'd be dead. On Venus I'd be 58. That sounds crappy. On Earth I'd be 36. Oh yeah, I am on Earth, and 36....












Okay then, on Mars I'd be 19. A teenager again. Pass. On Jupiter I'd be 3....












And so on and so forth. You get the idea. What does it all mean?

















Not a goddamned thing.

This site then goes on to explain some scientific shit about planetary orbits and calculating their distances.

No one needs to learn anything here, though, so let's just move on to the next question.
How about precisely how much you are worth monetarily speaking on this planet? This you can calculate with help from the creators of this site.

















Here you just fill out a short survey that measures your worth based on categories like gender, lifestyle, physical features and intelligence...










































And based on the formula they use at this site to calculate this figure, it calculates your total monetary value as an individual.

This is especially handy if you are planning to sell yourself on Craig's List, as i tried unsuccessfully to do a few months back. I knew five million was asking waaaay too much.