Top Three 08.09

#1 The Conspiracy Web page, designed for "paranoids" is a great resource for learning about various government conspiracies. JFK Conspiracies, UFO Conspiracies, and other lies and manipulations constructed by our government, the government that doesn't want us to know that rabid clowns killed Kennedy, or that most members of Congress are in fact aliens from a distant galaxy, with plans to quietly, slowly take over our planet over the course of hundreds of years.






Let's say we're interested in finding out more about where UFOs have recently landed and why we're not supposed to know about it...







You'll be redirected to...














Oh, crap, well, try another site















Hmmm, well, maybe...okay, i guess not.






This is a conspiracy! This site should feature info on it. It probably does, actually, but all the links to that info would be dead anyway.


#2) Human Calendar. This fun site is, well, a human calendar. People hold cards with numbers corresponding to the days in the month, and everyone looks at the person holding the card that corresponds to the day it is.




















#3)Isolatr This is a good site because, for the love of god, get me away from all these people. Conspiracy freaks are just weird, i think this goes without saying, and they're too busy speculating and weaving elaborate webs to maintain their site. The thought of twenty-nine or thirty people all looking at me because it's my "date" makes me want to be alone.

A little goes a long way, or at least far enough

Go to this site if you want to tell your story, very quickly, without any of the nuances that make a story interesting or worthwhile.





You won't be alone, so when you're done posting your nonsense, you can read through that of others.

Seeing Stripes?

You are if you've ever been to any of these web pages. First, when a cat made out of stripes has a curtain made out of stripes pulled over it, it appears to run and jump.











































Truly amazing.

Here, a "man" with striped skin floats around on the screen. For even more fun, click on the screen...























and he multiplies.























When you're done there, the Natural Hallucinogen helps you to expand you mind.




I like all my fun to come with a seizure warning.







































I am not hallucinating. I am in a trance. Must kill the robots.

It isn't just for point-and-clicking

That's right, you're computer pointer can be fun! So many sites out there offer cursor-based fun. You never have to be bored at work again.

First, we have the Vector Park site where an on-screen dog follows a spider, controlled by you and your cursor, around the page endlessly. The dog is kind of cute. He never catches the spider, but even though you know he won't, you find yourself rooting for him.























When you're done there, try this. This fun time is brought to you by Crossover, a website featuring "web content." Here some "O's" swarm all around your cursor, wherever it goes, leaving behind little trails.













It's like your on acid.













Well, I actually was at the time. Anyway, next we have the site that, while undergoing maintenance, put this clever little device up. If you're stupid enough to go and try to "push" the button, like I am, then you'll find that your cursor repels it and you can never catch it. At this point, unlike that dog after a spider, you realize it won't happen and give up. Next.

















Ah yes, this site offers a chance to have your cursor become a dollar sign to be followed around on the screen by George Bush, or for your cursor to be Bush with Tony Blaire following it around.



















Either way, in the process the movement around distorts their faces and is pretty funny.



















If you ever tire of that, then head on over to this site and have a rabbit chase and leap after your cursor which, to it, appears as a carrot--yeah, okay, i guess I can see how one could make that mistake.























Anyway, the fun part about this one is that the Rabbit is, in fact, able to catch it and once it does it holds on tight and DOES NOT let go.You literally do have to pry it from his cold dead hands.

















You won't want to miss out on the fun happening on this Japanese website, where you can find a young anime girl who will follow your cursor around the page with her eyes. It's actually a little creepy for me, as it reminds me of a painting in the living room of my grand parents' home that always seemed to be watching us.





















Avoider is another fun "game" on the One More Level game site where you try to escape the little screen character, but pretty much can't. When he catches your pointer, which he does every time and within seconds, he eats it. Actually, that isn't very much fun at all.

































Well, no, you definitely can't. He gets away.

Finally, and this is by no means an exhaustive list of such fun online activities as these, there's a site where you can put flies on the screen by clicking on it, which then draws a spider to where ever you did that.













Because he's going to eat those flies, even though they are not trapped in his web, but lying about on a large map of the world, as insects will often do.

Gotta Go?

There's only one place to turn if you find yourself in urgent need of a public toilet, and you're in Manhattan and have access to a computer, and that's Diaroogle, the Manhattan public toilet search engine.























Simply type an address, street name, or local landmark into the search bar and a long list of sort of nearby public bathrooms appears. Perhaps a better idea is to run through the list of all toilets and locate those that will be handy to you based on your destination/s downtown. Though I imagine most of those destinations actually have bathrooms available.























But if you're headed out to grab a paper at the news stand, or to buy crack in an alley and pick up a hooker by the bus stop...