January 09 Top Three

Here without further ado, or any ado really, the first top three of 2009.

#1 Rude Food. This site features an extensive collection of "rude foods," that is foods that are shaped like a penis, has a nasty name or feature pieces of fruit groping one another. It's great!



















































Time for the Detrol discussion?

#2 The pressed Ham Project. A site for devotees of photocopied ass images. If you've ever photocopied your ass you can upload the image here and share it with others.












And, of course, they have tee shirts, mugs and the like for sale featuring the image of one of the more photo-copy-genic asses in their collection.







#3 Nuts Online. Okay well i was intrigued, but I checked it out and found that this site really just sells nuts, online. Macadamia, peanut, Walnuts, you name the nut and they have it.






But the name still makes me giggle.

More Anonymous Online Guidance for the Friendless

Some of just don't have anyone real to talk to. Luckily, there are places we can go online and get a little support and friendly advice, without actually having to make any friends, which clearly we are not able to do.

On this site you think of a question or problem that you have, and click on the om card. This "shuffles" and lays out a deck of cards that contain the answers to your questions and solutions to your woes. Each one you click on reveals yet another important truth.













And the messages are very supportive and validating.






























Sometimes they answer your questions dead on and really seem to speak to your particular situation. Other times they really don't. But they are always very wise and sage-like.































Interestingly, the same set of sage-like principles answer every conceivable question you could ask, just in a different order. I should know, because I asked many many questions. And some of them simply could not have been answered with a positive affirmation.

A Fun Way to Combine Current Events with Gambling

Here's some fun. Wish you had a better grasp on current events? Well now you can bone up on recent goings-on in the world and have fun doing it. On the Predictify site, betting pools are set up around recent world news items, and people can weigh in on the expected outcomes.



The categories include major news, as well as the somewhat mundane. Based, for instant on recent findings about American pet ownership, we are asked to predict whether more Americans will own cats or dogs by 2009:








Most people apparently don't see that happening. I agree. I mean, come on, cats suck!

The recent economic downturn has spawned a number of items for mass speculation.








And disasters make up another huge category of events to bet on.








As Does pop culture.

A cell phone novel on the NYT Best Seller List? Why would that not surprise me?

Holy Sheep Shit!

Sheep sure are popular online these days. First, we have sheepfilms. This site features the art of some guy who draws a lot of sheep smoking cigarettes, drinking liquor and attempting suicide.












































































The sheep on this site do not set a good example.

The Sheep Market site is a fascinating collection of sketches, some pretty good and others just ridiculous, of sheep. Mouse-overs of the "market" reveal various sheep. Click on them to see the larger image, and believe me you will want to see the larger image. What is more fun than looking at drawings of sheep?






















































































Um, well...just about anything I guess.

Anyway, on this site you'll find a game where you throw tranquilizer darts at sheep as they try to run by. When you hit them they fall asleep on the spot, but let too many get by you and Game Over!





























































This one really tests your reflexes. And no sheep were actually hurt in the making or playing of this game. Not so much can be said about the creation of sheep market--there are a lot of sheep out there now with pretty hurt feelings.

You Can See It In My Ize

Nobody can dispute that "izing yourself" (that is uploading an image of yourself into an online program that then converts or incorporates your image into something else. There are no shortage of these on the web. Here are just a few more I've come across since the last time i posted on this.

Wanna get Che Guevarized?! Go here and upload your photo. You can see the image, download it and there is merchandise available--mugs and tees--with your revolutionary new look .























See what it will look like if you decide to order the mug...or the tee shirt or poster.













































Just as much fun is this site where you can yearbook-ize yourself. Again, simply upload a photo, select year and the program transforms your image into a yearbook photo as it would have appeared at that time.

















I would have been just as hot in the 60s, 70s and 80s, as you can see.



































































A face like mine is timeless.

On turbanizer you can try on numerous turbans until you find the one, or several, that are just right for you.





















As always, upload a photo. From there you can adjust the size of your image and of the turbans and try on as many as you'd like before settling on one to be officially turbanized yet.


















I tried on more than half the turbans available and simply loved very many of them.

















































I finally settled on this red one.













But I love them all, i love the look and don't believe i will ever again be seen out without a turban on my head.