Getting Your Aggressions Out Safely

Sometimes everyone feels a little pent up rage, you know? Don't you ever just want to knock the shit out of someone, or set their car on fire while they're in a dance club having a good time without you, or go into a McDonalds and shoot everyone if they won't serve you a breakfast sandwich because it's lunch time? Of course you do, and so so I. That's why I find sites like these to be so handy for channeling those aggressive feelings safely, getting them out without going to jail, virtually.

I hate clowns.com is a fabulous site for the mobilization of public hatred of clowns. Clowns, as everybody knows, really freak me out, so when i learned that they have on their site an application that allows you to slap the shit out of one, I had to try it.










The clown just stands there like a creepy-as-hell sitting duck. You click on the hand at the bottom of the screen...
















...and Bam!
















The clown is knocked on his ass with a "HONK!"

But then he gets back up. Sure, you could hit him again, but look at him! Do you really think that's a good idea? I got scared and got outta there.









Maybe it's better to pick on someone less menacing, and potentially able to defend themselves. Go to Gamesville's poke-a-penguin. After all, who can a rotund little penguin hurt? Probably no one, you say? Let's mess with him awhile then.

Poke.

















Poke.
















Po....Shit man!

















Didn't see that coming.

Maybe a safer option is virtual property damage. Go to a site called Net Disaster. You enter the URL of whatever page you choose, and then choose a mode of destruction from a long list of possible options, and you're on your way to destroy some shit.














Tired of maintaining your stupid blog? select "gun" and shoot the shit out of it!

















Better yet, so to the site of some other person or organization, particulalry one that is annoying and bothersome, Like Jehovah's Witnesses (I mean, who likes them, except some of them?) and fuck their shit all up, without actually doing any harm of course.

Why not take a break and let Martians destroy their page.
















Then you can spray paint anti-witness messages on their pages.















Best of all, one of the destruction "methods" is "Almighty Good," so when you're done with them, you can actually smite them from the heavens.

















Ha ha you bastards!

Or maybe just choose some random dork's My Space or You Tube page...hmmm...oh, the You Tube page of that dork Chris Crocker, let's say. He thinks he's edgy because he's a drag queen or something, but he cried about Britney Spears on You Tube, and that just makes him a total spaz. Let's throw tomatoes at him.

















Or switch it up again and let a dog do the work, relieving himself all over this train-wreck's YouTube page.

















When you get bored, just move on to yet another web page and destroy it for fun. Hey, Chris, what do ya think about this?
















Leave Britney Alone!!!


















Sorry, I don't think so. This is the "slow burn option."
















It does the job. Bye-Bye Britney....
















Wow, I do feel better now.