April `09 Top 3

Here are my top three fave web sites this month, in no particular order.

#1: A Guide to the Orders of Trilobites. Here One can learn everything there is to know about Trilobites...











the importance of which cannot be over-estimated.























Here's this month's Trilobite of the month.























Wow! Just look at...it. I can see why he or she was chosen.

#2: easttexas.com. Follow the growth, okay, the growth is over, this is a very old site, but fun to check out, of a rubber band ball.










This is a fun site, pretty much because it's left over from the mid nineties..












when the internet was new...

















and people clearly didn't quite know what to do with it yet.









A lot of people sent three bands, but the Stewarts sent three "big wide" bands. Those Stewarts! Always trying to out-do everyone else.

#3: Spud's Travels. At this site one can keep up on the world travels of a plastic toy.




















Just click on a country he's been to, and he's been to quite a few, to view the pics from each one.














Here's one of him in India. Obviously.














And another in Germany posing with some German-looking stuff.

















And then in front of some beautiful architecture in Japan.

















And here he is in the U.S.























Again, obviously.

I Scream Ize Scream!

Blabberize is one site that meets all the requirements for greatness and has definitely earned a place on the Culturedrone web stuff blog.

They have a huge gallery of "blabberized" images to waste time browsing.

















Some are odd and ear-piercing, like this creature that screams "Get Off My Lawn!!"























Others are odd and a little creepy, like this, um, person singing a song for Jesus.



















I don't know what's creepier, the costume or the whole singing to Jesus thing. Moving on...
And, to add more time-wasting capability, this site helps you make your own images "blabber." I first thought to upload my own image and "blabberize it." It's a really old photo, but it would suffice for purpose of this exercise. You just select the mouth area to cut out...




















Then record audio to go along with it. You won't hear it here of course, but you can do pretty much anything you want with it.




















Here's what I had to say (bubble added).




















Let's try uploading a picture of someone else to have a little fun with. How `bout Ryan Seacrest.




















Just select the mouth area...

















record the audio...

















and BAM!

















Ryan Seacrest knows what he's talking about.

Relax. Have a Blessing, and go to the Library.

With the volume of responses I got after last week's post, I am starting to see that I am not the only one who kind of needs to relax, before they snap, and do serious damage, or more serious damage. Well here are a couple sites that I like to go to when I need a break from it all, places to relax and recharge, and to begin to think happy thoughts. Let's go before we kill someone.

First, get iserenity open in a tab on your browser. You can choose between several soothing sounds with background slide-shows.























For instance, there's one of a fan sound, a soothing white noise to listen too.























And in the background you see images of fans...























OH! Don't put your face so close...don't get your fingers in there either!























Well, that's not so relaxing.

Let's go back and select library sounds. Here it is quiet, but you can hear breathing and pages turning, so you can relax and you don't feel alone.























While you listen you are shown soothing images of the library...














































ahhh, books, readers and furniture.

Well, okay so the imagery isn't much. So leave it open, but open a new tab and go here, to the World Wide Blessing Generator. It starts with a blessing and some religious imagery from one religious tradition or another.
















And then generates a new blessing and set of images each time you ask.























Keep the peaceful noise alive in browser number one, and remain on this site receiving blessings until you no longer feel homicidal.

Getting Your Aggressions Out Safely

Sometimes everyone feels a little pent up rage, you know? Don't you ever just want to knock the shit out of someone, or set their car on fire while they're in a dance club having a good time without you, or go into a McDonalds and shoot everyone if they won't serve you a breakfast sandwich because it's lunch time? Of course you do, and so so I. That's why I find sites like these to be so handy for channeling those aggressive feelings safely, getting them out without going to jail, virtually.

I hate clowns.com is a fabulous site for the mobilization of public hatred of clowns. Clowns, as everybody knows, really freak me out, so when i learned that they have on their site an application that allows you to slap the shit out of one, I had to try it.










The clown just stands there like a creepy-as-hell sitting duck. You click on the hand at the bottom of the screen...
















...and Bam!
















The clown is knocked on his ass with a "HONK!"

But then he gets back up. Sure, you could hit him again, but look at him! Do you really think that's a good idea? I got scared and got outta there.









Maybe it's better to pick on someone less menacing, and potentially able to defend themselves. Go to Gamesville's poke-a-penguin. After all, who can a rotund little penguin hurt? Probably no one, you say? Let's mess with him awhile then.

Poke.

















Poke.
















Po....Shit man!

















Didn't see that coming.

Maybe a safer option is virtual property damage. Go to a site called Net Disaster. You enter the URL of whatever page you choose, and then choose a mode of destruction from a long list of possible options, and you're on your way to destroy some shit.














Tired of maintaining your stupid blog? select "gun" and shoot the shit out of it!

















Better yet, so to the site of some other person or organization, particulalry one that is annoying and bothersome, Like Jehovah's Witnesses (I mean, who likes them, except some of them?) and fuck their shit all up, without actually doing any harm of course.

Why not take a break and let Martians destroy their page.
















Then you can spray paint anti-witness messages on their pages.















Best of all, one of the destruction "methods" is "Almighty Good," so when you're done with them, you can actually smite them from the heavens.

















Ha ha you bastards!

Or maybe just choose some random dork's My Space or You Tube page...hmmm...oh, the You Tube page of that dork Chris Crocker, let's say. He thinks he's edgy because he's a drag queen or something, but he cried about Britney Spears on You Tube, and that just makes him a total spaz. Let's throw tomatoes at him.

















Or switch it up again and let a dog do the work, relieving himself all over this train-wreck's YouTube page.

















When you get bored, just move on to yet another web page and destroy it for fun. Hey, Chris, what do ya think about this?
















Leave Britney Alone!!!


















Sorry, I don't think so. This is the "slow burn option."
















It does the job. Bye-Bye Britney....
















Wow, I do feel better now.