Virtual Fun

Virtual stuff on the web = hours of fun, not to mention well wasted time.

I had an etch-a-sketch when i was a kid, a real one. The problem with those is that you have to lug it around with you and it's bulky, and they break. With this virtual etch-a-sketch i found online, you get all the same big fun drawing and writing stuff all distorted, with none of the hassles.


















Here's a virtual drum kit where the bored and lonely web-surfer can spend hours beating out one's best drum solo. If you stay here long enough you could develop the skills to play an actual drum set, should the opportunity ever arise, which it won't.


















Who doesn't love a good staring contest? Everyone does, and now you don't have to have a real person to play with to do it. Sally, a virtual woman will make every attempt to stare you down, and she is good too.



















I used to buy stuff on eBay just for the bubble wrap i could only hope it would come packaged in. Now, i just go online and pop some virtual bubbles.


















If, instead, you are interested in shoring up your skills with the light saber in the hopes of one day becoming a Jedi Knight, there's a website you've got to check out. There are several sabers to choose from, I personally prefer the the model used by Yoda, pictured here; I just really like the way it handles.
















Not interested in screwing around? There's a virtual meditation center that feature several "rooms" where you can relax and perhaps even meditate to the soothing sound of music while looking at pretty pictures that are reflective of each rooms' theme.

Make Google Go Crazy

So you just follow the instructions below and ...




















BAM! Google Goes Crazy. What's not to enjoy?




















Man, that was a hoot.

No Good Reason 4 It

Occasionally there are those pages that when you open them some sort of animation appears. It doesn't tell a story, and isn't interactive, the reason for it just isn't obvious at all. Here are a couple examples.

Ninja Works It. This page features a cartoon ninja that dances to club music which also plays when you open the page. The dancing and the song run on a continuous loop. Forever. The only way to escape is to leave the page, but it's hard, because the repetition has the effect of putting the unsuspecting web surfer into a kind of trance.



















































Work it ninja, work it. Man i could watch that for hours.

Eventually, though, you gotta' move on. What better no-good-reason-for-it website than
Seizure Andy, which is just this guy having, essentially a seizure on the screen. The background flashes and this guy's head and arms move back and forth between positions. That's all. Over and over again. Forever.
















































But, when you do get bored with Andy's repetitive seizing, and as hard as it is to believe it you will, you can move to another page and purchase Seizure Andy merchandise, because who doesn't want that? They have sunglasses and beer mugs i guess, and LOTS of underwear. I don't know who this Andy is, why he's having a seizure, why that's supposed to be entertaining or why in the world i would want his face on my underwear, but somebody must i guess.

It's Always Fun to Send It To Your Friends

Doesn't matter what it is, if you create something online, sending it to your friends is always an option, and ALWAYS a great idea.

There are more than a few sites that allow you to generate something special just for your friends (and enemies) and then fire off an email that links your special someones with the same fun waste of time you've enjoyed, along with a special message just for them.

Who doesn't want to receive a message, written in blood from a mangled, virtual, digit?

On the other hand, if you are having a disagreement with someone, what better way to get your point of view across then to send them and objection! This is based on some video game about lawyers, apparently, and while Phoenix is evidentially the main character, there are other lawyers whom you can choose to deliver your objection. Just enter what you want said on the main page (and select a lawyer), hit objection a link to your well-argued point is generated which you can forward to a detractor. It would be cooler if the character would speak the actual objection, but instead it is typed out across the screen. Still, he or she does holler "Objection," on your behalf, like he or she means it.

Of course, that's just for when you are angry about or otherwise object to something. Now back to totally fun stuff. Another fave of mine is Let Them Sing it For You, a feature that allows you to type in your message which is then transformed into a musical version of your message, that you can forward to a friend, as i did.



I guess if you're mad at your friend then it can be yet another opportunity to point out what a selfish ass he or she really is. You can really never do too much of that, but anyway.

Here's another tool for online creations that has keeping in touch with friends in mind. Freak Machine is not only fun to send and receive, it's interactive, meaning your friend gets an email of the "freak" you started to draw, and has the opportunity to draw the second part before forwarding it back to you or on to yet another lucky player.







I'm pretty sure my friend must have checked his email and opened this by now, but he hasn't responded to me yet.

There's Nothing Not Fun About an Online Generator

The online generator is a broad genre of online fun/time-waster. You can generate mad-lib poems, fairy tales, notes and announcements, a list of anagrams from your name, even a list of words that can be spelled with your phone number. What could be more entertaining? I'm glad you asked. Some of the least "useful" of the genre are the image-based internet generators, that allow you to custom create a sign or a headline, or design the label on a virtual product.

One of my personal faves in this category is the Church Sign Generator
Here you can choose from a number of differently styled signs and make them say whatever you want-- announce just how great you are, or how stupid everybody else is, or how your god is better, or that no god even exists at all. Sky's the limit.

When you get bored of that, and you will, there are many other fun generators that are bound to please. I named a newspaper after me and generated a lead story, developed my own brand of cigarettes, cut a new album (which will be released on cassette tape only, I'm told), designed the box for a new brand of cereal and created an important warning about an often over-looked matter.

























































Notes, Letters and announcements are also a lot of fun to create with online generators, because these are fun to send to your friends, who are always too happy to receive this crap.

That brings me to the Federal Bureau of Communication web site, which allows the user to easily recognize or announce important events and special occasions, compose a most sincere letter of apology or, conversely, create a to-the-point notice of grievance when you, as usual, have been terribly wronged by society and need to vent and at the same time warn the wrong-doers of their impending doom should they persist, all in the name of open communication.

I Guess You Can Call it A Game

Here's a fun game, i guess it's a game, sort of-ish. You pull the woman up or down and she bounces on the elastic, which is apparently what the two men on the end are holding, since the "game" is called Elastic Enthusiast. You can adjust the tension of the elastic by pulling the men further out or pushing them in closer.






















Arms, here, is a fun sort-of game where clicking the screen releases the ball and cursor movement makes the arms pass it around.











Even more fun with balls can be had here at this site. You draw different sized balls and try to balance them on the crossed sticks that open and close. It's harder than it looks.

The Internet: From Stupid to Handy, It's All One Big Good Time

The internet is loaded with some pretty useless crap, which is often still enjoyable to experience because it is so silly, but that's totally useless nonetheless. Who hasn't enjoyed going to wimp.com and angering the red button that one simply can not resist pushing over and over again, despite the warnings? It is fun, but useless and ultimately a supreme waste of time. On the other hand, one doesn't have to travel too far down the information super highway to come across more useful web devices, like for instance the Kegulator.




















With this handy feature, one merely needs to enter the number of guests one anticipates will attend their party, and how drunk one imagines the guests will want to get and Kegulate. This not only tells you how many kegs will be needed to accomplish the job, but how much ice and how many cups will also be necessary to ensure a great time. Now that's handy!


This is why we love the internet. That and the way it allows us to easily share with the whole world embarrassing stories about and/or images of the people in our lives, if ever they piss us off and clearly deserve public ridicule. And the fact that, if no one who actually knows you wants to be your friend or even talk to you, you can always find someone who will online. Almost always. And eBay.